relationships & communication

DAY 10 – While my boyfriend and I were having dinner at Binondo, there was part of our conversation where I brought up a Nescafé video* that took place in Chinatown. He has never seen it yet, so I told him I’ll google it so he can watch such heartwarming story.

*It was presented by Nestlé Philippines as part of their 2011 Kasambahay Habambuhay Short Film Anthology, in celebration of their 100 years of good food (and good life). The film was shown roughly six months ago.

Watch :

“Downtown”

Reason why this film was brought up was quite obvious: we were in downtown Chinatown, immersing ourselves with the quaint community’s delectable dishes.

That and the fact that this short film triggered TWO truths simplified: relationships and communication.

SPOILER ALERT: (Most of) You would’ve been led to believe that the old man’s wife is dead. I did. He was so down during the first part of the film: sitting lonesome by himself with his house seemingly empty, walking aimlessly along the streets & staring blankly in space… among the many dreadful things of being left alone. It took some time for him to realize (SIDE NOTE: Inject the Nescafé part here, the coffee and the creamer! Very smart concept!) that he needs to move on from his past, put his act together and get his life back.

And one morning, he did. Simple as that.

He made such great effort to get his wife back. He cleaned up his act and eventually reconciled with her.

Happiness.

Lesson learned? Coffee always goes better with creamer. 🙂

Seriously now, in every relationship, communication is KEY.

Then the next thing to ask is this: how do you communicate? It rings true, at least to me as of late. Sometimes, to “just” communicate is not enough; it also depends on how you deliver the message.

Did you send your message clearly, exactly the way you intended it? If yes, then good.

If no, there must’ve been something wrong with how you deliver. That somehow, somewhere between the lines, you realized you were misinterpreted. Or…

….how about, you have misinterpreted the other party’s reaction?

Then all hell breaks loose. That’s what happens next.

There isn’t much to do but to let things cool down (never say things when you’re angry or high on emotions — unless you have a “Masteral Studies” in combining calmness + anger at the same time). Let things pacify.

And as you do, retrace the conversation that transpired to (somehow) understand what went wrong. Then communicate. Again.

Only this time, learn from the first time wherein mistake was overlooked, acknowledge and calmly discuss.

Next is forgive. Understand that if a message was wrongly received by the other party, or misinterpreted for that matter, you must learn to sincerely apologize. After all, once hurt was recognized, acknowledged and said “sorry” for, hell gets out of the way. And a ray of light shines through.

It does take time for healing. You can never rush things. But in God’s perfect time, you wait for it to fall into place.  Do you remember the plant in the movie?

‘Represents HOPE. That along with time, you hope that things will be better.

And they will be better.

I maybe no expert. Yet, the experience I had, (though not exactly as what the nice, old couples in the movie) has been such an invaluable teacher.

Relationship and communication? Always goes hand in hand.

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